Today I wanted to talk about something a little different, and something that I’ve dealt with for the past several years. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it here on the blog, but ever since I learned how to drive, driving has more or less terrified me. I got my license as an 18 year old, but hated driving so much that I managed to avoid it most of the time. In college I lived in a small town where most things were in walking distance, and when they weren’t I had friends who were willing to take me places. The thing that I think always scared me in regards to driving is the aspect of control. The feeling that I’m responsible for keeping myself and other people safe is not one that I enjoy, especially when it seems that mistakes can be made so easily.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten more and more uncomfortable with having to rely on other people to be my transportation, and a couple of months ago I decided it was time to stop letting my fear control how I lived my life, because that’s what it had turned in to. To get myself back behind the wheel, I had to take control of my thoughts. I recently listened to a podcast that resonated with me in which one of the speakers said that it was important to actually be aware of what you are thinking and your thought processes. This is a great first step to controlling them instead of letting them control you. I started to notice that when I thought about myself driving at all, I only thought of potential catastrophes, not potential successes. I also noticed that when my plans to practice driving fell through for some reason, I felt relieved that I didn’t have to take a risk, rather than disappointed that I didn’t have a chance to learn something.